Crazy Apple Rumor-Tablet is ZERO thickness

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Remember folks you heard it hear first! has learned via inside sources at Apple (NASDAQ:AAPL) why they are so excited about the new Mac Tablet! This is an exclusive scoop and we are proud to bring it to you. There are many crazy Mac rumors out there but we have the best one yet! Our sources have informed us that Apple has made an unbelievable breakthrough in the thin tablet technology. Sources tell us that Apple will announce that this will be the thinnest device EVER. When we say thin we mean it. The new tablet will be the first ZERO thickness device EVER. That’s right it will have no thickness! Apple has managed to make the first truly two dimensional tablet. As you know previous to this all computing devices had three dimensions, a measurable length, width and height. This new tablet has only length and width, but no height!

Now you can see why Apple has been so tight lipped. A technological breakthrough like this needs to be kept under raps and is going to scoop the market. Our source tells us that the researchers at Apple stumbled on this technology when they were using nanobots to make ever thinner and thinner devices. We do not know the specifics of the technology but we have learned that there are some serious physics involved.This new technology while exciting has also presented some new problems.

Having zero thickness our source tells us that there were safety concerns. For example if someone brushed up against the tablet they would injure themselves. To quote him/her “Think about it, a razor is sharp due to having a very thin edge. This tablet has the thinnest edge ever. If for example you picked it up by it’s edge you could slice off your fingers. It was a very real concern. This would not be good for sales.” Thus having the sharpest edge allowed by physics could have disadvantages. Once the prototype device was constructed it turned out that this was not a problem after all. The device having zero thickness actually passes through matter and does not break the atomic bonds of the atoms close to each other…Therefore it passes through objects and does not “cut” them, in the traditional sense. This presented another problem. During manufacturing the prototype tablet was dropped on edge and it passed through the floor. Our source said “We were scared shitless when it was dropped." and  “We thought Steve would have our ass for loosing it.” He went on “It just like, went into the floor and disappeared man.” Fortunately the device was stopped as it turned flat landing safely on the level below the research lab.

Early testers of the table have called it “Way cool”, “Awesome” and “Wicked Thin”. We hope to get our hands on one to review soon. We wanted to get the word out to the world about this important breakthrough that is set to revolutionize computing as we know it.